How is Love Spelled Out in the Bible?

Into Thy Word -

Session VII

There are four Greek words that we translate as love, two of which are found in the Bible. The four words are agape, phileo, eros, and stergo. The first is phileo, which means to have a brotherly love for others. It implies a deep-rooted affection. It is from the Greek, which means brotherly love, and is where we get our word for the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia (Matthew 19:19b). Phileo is companionship—as in a relationship that grows, and benefits from the friendship. It is a word picture of a good marriage where each one is uplifting and encouraging the other. This type of love implies that we go beyond superficial relationships, and strive for the deep, without being shallow or pretentious.

The second word for love in the Bible is agape. This word was used in Classic Greek literature to refer to someone who was generously favored by a god. It conveys the idea of a person giving all his or her love, or favor, to someone else other than one’s self. It is a love that is not earned; rather, it is relational and given freely. It also refers to parents giving all of their love to their child. In the New Testament, agape love is used to make a similar point, as God gives each of us all of His love. It is a love that gives without expectations, or a response from the other. It takes the initiative, as Christ did with us, and fosters the Fruit of the Spirit and brotherly love. Agape love is also the most common word used both as a noun and a verb in the New Testament. The greatest example of agape love is what our Lord Jesus Christ did, when He died for our sins. God showed His love by taking our place, and the wrath and punishment for our sins. He paid that price through His sinless life, and His sacrifice on our behalf. Consequently, God’s agape love rescued us from the punishment that we deserved. We deserved punishment, yet, we received His favor without earning it (Mark 12:30; John 3:16, Matthew 22:34-40; Mark 12:28-31; John 13:34-35; Romans 1:31; 12:10; 1 Thessalonians 1:3; 2:8; 3:6; 12; 4:9-10; 5:8; 13; 2 Timothy 3:3).

There are two other types of love in the Greek that are not found in the Bible. The first one is eros, which usually refers to sex, and the love between a husband and wife. It is more than just sexual ecstasy because, in classic Greek, it also includes embraces, yearning, and caring. This type of love is based on physical attraction and desire; it has a need to be fulfilled, it is self centered and unconcerned with the other. But, in passages such as Ephesians 5:25 where we are called to love our spouse romantically, the word used is not eros, rather, agape! So, as a Christian, we are to have a deeper love than what we see in the media and society, one that is not based on eroticism. Eros has noun and verb forms that we do find in the New Testament for lust, such as, epithumeo (1 John 2:16).

The second love that is popular in evangelical circles is stergo, and, this is not in the Scriptures in its noun or verb form, either. It does occur in Romans 1:31 and 2 Timothy 3:3 in its negative form astorgos referring to unloving. It normally refers to family love, as in the love between parents and children, or the love between people and their leader who has responsibility over them, from parents to civic authorities. What we learn from these Greek words agape, and phileo, used in the Bible, is their emphases of real, authentic love, without pretensions or expectations (1 John 4:7-11). They show the goal to be developing maturity and character in oneself, and in others. The other two words imply strings attached, expectations needed to make them work. They refer to lust, which is a pretender to love, the reason they are not used for love in God’s most precious Word. They refer to a connection that must already be there, such as a parent and child. The parent does not love another’s child as he does his own.

Read Mark 12:28-31; John 13:34-35 then discuss this section and answer these questions:

1. What do these two passages teach us about love?

2. What happens when we do not follow His call?

3. How do those four Greek words help you see love in greater depth?

4. What does it mean to go beyond superficial relationships, and strive for the deep, without being shallow or pretentious?

5. Why do you think God chose not to use the world’s eros or stergo? Why is this important?

6. Knowing that God gives each of us all of His love, and that His love rescued us, how can this fact help motivate you to replicate that kind of love to others?

7. Do you put conditions on love? Why, or why not?

8. Why would conditions be wrong? Or, do you think they are not? Why, or why not?

9. Remember this important point; we received His love without earning it! Yet, in our human terms, we put conditions on love, such as, others have to earn it, or, they have to do this or be this…. Why are our ways of love wrong?

10. How can we get over the self-imposed rules we generate by putting conditions on love?

So, what is love? Well, let us find out by seeking love through God’s Word in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13.

When a computer is programmed, the program runs because the language has mandated what the program is to do. Within this language of computers, there are operational instructions called parameters, which tell the program what it can and cannot do. Thus, the program can only operate within its own guidelines, or parameters. In contrast, a virus is designed to do the opposite. That is why they are so destructive, and can eradicate all of your files as well as your computer! We must look at this passage as our parameter, our guideline as to how we must execute the gifts we are given, exercise the passion of what Christ has done on our behalf, and proclaim the truth. Our operational parameters in relationships—how we operate and relate—is to be love. We must stay clear of viruses that will destroy it.

This passage is our template on how we must behave toward one another. We can do our best in trying to be a good person; we can be in a good church filled with wonderful programs, and staffed with gifted people. We can be in a magnificent cathedral, reaching upwards, manifesting, and pointing to the glory of God. We can be pouring out our time and resources in serving Christ. However, if we are doing it for ourselves, out of selfish gain and not out of real love, we end up accomplishing nothing. We become just an annoying noise to the neighbors we are called to reach. Even having great faith is useless, and probably not even real, if love is not coupled to it. Without love, our relationships will be shallow and ineffectual. And, we can even become the hated “x” in the relationship. We can become a person who is broken or confused, prideful or arrogant, steeped in bitterness and dysfunction, all from failing to embrace what Love is. Therefore, we will have haplessness, hopelessness, loneliness, and hurt as our guild, as our identity. And, how sad that can be!

This passage, 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, shows us the path and way for our Christian life and walk. As Christians, we are to imitate Christ, and work within His parameter, which is, love. This passage is a character description of who Christ is, and it must be our character description of our actions, of our behaving responsibly in all that we do.

The proper building of relationships, as a Christian, is always within the parameters of love with no strings attached, just as God Himself works through all of His characteristics in love. By understanding love, we can also understand God, and who we are in Him, as God is the source of love, and the example of what it is in Christ (1 John 4: 7-12). This is the love that binds us together in Christ, both with each other, and with the One to whom we commit our lives..

Read carefully 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 then answer these additional questions:

1. Why does Jesus put such an emphasis on telling us to love?

2. What are the parameters you use to determine love?

3. Have you ever considered that our wrong exercise of love is like a computer virus that is self replicating, self relocating, and very damaging?

4. What have been some of your guidelines for love?

5. How can a passionate relationship with Christ, and knowing what He has done on your behalf, help you?

6. Why is it when we do our best in trying to be a good person, we will not please God?

7. How would you describe an annoying noise?

8. Why would having great faith be useless? Is this contradictory? Why, or why not?

9. What would happen to your spiritual life if you had great faith, but refused to love?

Pray as a group and individually at home about how what we talked about can make you a changed person, so you can apply these precepts to all of your relationships!

Into Thy Word Ministries

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